peeps - Distanced in Distress

Dear Peeps,

This is my first year here at UNLV, and I love it. I'm in a sorority here
and am enjoying my first year away from home. My problem however is what to do about my boyfriend. We've been together for two years now and I really do love him, but I'm having such a great time with my new friends. I don't know if a long distance relationship can survive. Please help.

-Distanced in Distress

Dear Distressed,

Believe it or not, this is a very common problem with going off to college. There is no doubt that the love you feel for him is strong. However, part of growing up is change. You must allow yourself to grow and develop into who you will become. I suggest about your conflicting emotions with your man. Chances are he may be having similar struggles. Together, you may be able to work out the best road to take. Maybe it would be best not to stay so strictly committed. True love allows for freedom and honesty. After college, you may find out that he is the best thing for you. On the other hand, you may also meet someone else. This is not necessarily a loss, though. Love can change forms and still be amazing. If you really love each other, then you won't want to lose what you have either way. Throughout your life, together or not, you can still have him as a friend.

-Sara Bellum

Hey Dumbass in Denial,

First thing you need to do is wake up and realize how young you are. Once you realize that you will start to understand that you are probably too immature for a committed relationship. Now we can move onto step 2. Men are horny bastards and if he can't get the sweet loving he needs to live over a very short period of time, expect homey to look elsewhere. Finally what are you doing in a freaking sorority if you are so in love with your boy-toy afar? T.V. and movies have taught me that initiation into those absurd collectives requires all KINDS of crazy sexual acts performed with an array of suitors. So welcome to college and just be the sexually repressed whore that we all know that you are, and know that Samuel Guthrie back home is getting hizon with a tasty skeeze!

-Nathaniel Essex
(Me... since she had a pen-name I had to too)