I have been doing a great disservice to my fellow friends and burners.  I have been going to the most amazing event of a human beings lifetime for two years in a row and I failed to explain it to others.  I always ended up saying something to the effect of, "You gotta go!" or "Man, it's impossible to explain."  Well the truth of the matter is it is not impossible to explain, it just might be hard to explain via words.  So I decided to document this Burning Man unlike that which I have ever documented in the past.  To show everyone out there what really goes on and what they are missing when they decide that going about their bullshit day-to-day lives is more important then actually living. 

The great part of the story is that I was not alone in my documentation and had amazing help with contributions from Dan, Robert, Neal and Farrah, and Conrad and Tasha (Which will be pictured below, obviously).  The beautiful thing about this collaboration of talent is that you have the eyes of two virgin (to the burn) independent males, myself, and two old (to the burn) couples.  So join me as I attempt to take you into the world of Burning Man.  My name is Nick Turner, and I will be servicing as your tour guide through the land of fire.  I would also like to point out that my "burn name" is Nick Turner.  Here we go...

The Crew


"Who are the crazy people pictured above?" you must be wondering.  Well I would hope by now that I am easily spotted in all these photos, otherwise I suggest you go to the first part of the site and catch up.  The flaming devil is obviously Conrad, the cosmik ice queen is obviously Tasha.  The retarded girl that I am talking to, kissing, and then is beautifully in a wedding dress, is obviously Chantel.  The white robed figure is Ken Nelson, a good friend of Aimee, but the man in the blue cloak is none other then the legendary Grease.  The scary guy that looks like he could kick your ass and is riding Barney, well that's NealCasey and Mayanne are the most relatively normal looking people you see pictured in any of the shots above.  All of these individuals are returning champions.  The final shots are the newbies, of Robert (Looking like a dirty lunatic) and Dan (With the afro).  These are some of the closest members of my Burning Man family.


Group Shots




So who aren't the closest members?  These bastards that you see above... the people I am hugging.  The losers...  These are some of the many happy group shots that occurred at the South End of the Heavenly Martini camp.  The first two are on the last day, the survivors that weathered the storm until Monday, saying farewell.  The rest are relatively self explanatory.  The one I love the most, well actually there are two that I love the most.  The one where I look like a freak covering up Aimee in the shot with Neal and Farrah.  Then the following one that barely came out due to lighting concerns, because I am in the center and look as if I am the host of the event, the ghost host. (Sorry)  Oh and the ball room, everyone loves the ball room.

The Playa



Now that's enough of my little neck of the Burning woods, it is at this point in our journey that we move onto the outer realms of what Burning Man be.  Unfortunately what I cannot show you is the theatre that I erected with a six foot screen, surround sound, and DVD quality movies such as Fight Club, the Big Lebowski, and Fear and Loathing.  How did I pull off a theater in the middle of a dry lake bed?  How did I accomplish this and not spend more then $30?  None of your goddamn business that's how.

Pictured above are items that you encounter in the mile long diameter around the man.  Odd structures, interesting people, awesome costumes, innovative art pieces, amazing art cars, etc.  This sadly enough is only a small fraction of what can be seen as you stroll around the man, and at night this area is aglow with many twinkling lights, flames, and a partying populace.  There were also some twisters I was able to get some shots of, those are not cool cause then you are covered in dust... but that's ok.

Random City Shots


Outside of the playa is the city of Burning Man, and a lot happens in this city.  As you can see there are clubs, live music, a roller disco, a tight rope, and a center tent filled with consistently random entertainment.  The pictures in this area must speak for themselves for I will not presume to be an expert in the matters of the city.  For as little of the actually event I get to see, the outlying city has even more that you never get a chance to interact with.

Oh La, La


What trip into Burning Man could ever be complete without some shots of T &.... well mainly T, and how.  Outside of the amazing bike race I contributed some additional shots of intrigue of the Titt-ay bar and of the anime topless cat lady.  Come one, come all... and obviously the pictures of nudity are COMPLETELY one sided.  There are many a naked dude, and many a naked sexless hippie.  So no matter what end of the sexual spectrum you hail from, you will find yourself at home, or temporarily uncomfortable... you know, until you get over it.

The Man & Mausoleum


Well it wouldn't be Burning Man without it, and the emotional follow up.  Otherwise it would be called Dirty Crazy Naked Fun City... and people would kill each other... and it would be like a pirate city... hmmm.  Anyways, it is Burning Man, and that is where it all ends up.

To recap this was the finest year for me as a Burner for many reasons.  I got to experience the event for the most amount of time, including the burn of not only the man but the mausoleum as well.  The opportunity was given to me to see the experience through the eyes of newcomers yet again, with the addition of my two chums.  Finally I tried to give more to this year then I ever have in the past, with my theater, Chantel and my Italian Bistro (for Spaghetti night), and other some-such things that escape me at the moment.  Regardless it was an overwhelmingly amazing year in 2004 and I look forward to the future events, as I will be in attendance, obviously.

If I haven't made you want to go at this point, then god have mercy on your soul, and also... I hate you.